Jason Stringer

Days are flying past now.  They are all a sleepy blur of helping Kerry up and down, taking off her shoes, putting on her socks, injecting her belly, making hot drinks, preparing dinner, worrying about money and keeping sane…  I know they start and end but they are all the same to me now.  I’ve felt this kind of thing before, when Kerry has been in hospital and the world just stops for us before we re-join the clutter (or so it feels).  This time we’ll be re-joining the fray with a little one in our arms.

It feels surreal to actually be counting down the days until I become a father.  I’ve counted down many things before.  Days until Christmas; days until holidays; days until Birthdays… but days until I become a Father?  Wow.  That requires a whole different kind of psychology.

I feel like I’m ready, so I guess that’s a good sign.  Ready as I’ll ever be.  Many defensive and provision-like instincts that I didn’t even know I had are starting to kick-in.  I feel the need to provide and nurture.

As we sat up late the other night, I tried to explain this to Kerry; that I felt this natural urge to drag her around my cave by her hair and beat away other animals with a stick.  I meant it sincerely as a gesture that my fatherhood instincts feel like they are coming to the fore.  She sort of screwed her nose up at me and joked “If we ever live in a cave, you’re cleaning it…”

Fair call.